choices

yesterday I found out about a dear friend of mine fighting for his life against COVID-19 and pneumonia. 

It seriously broke my heart. 

This pandemic is seriously the hardest thing for so many and to hear about someone you know fighting the virus in the hospital with serious complications, makes it even harder. 

I know that so many want life to go back to normal (me included!) but it seriously irks me when I see those I know completely and deliberately forgetting all guidelines as though there is no virus at all.

A couple of weekends ago, C, E, and I went to Target to grab a couple of items when we noticed multiple (and I'm not joking), probably 7-8, people wandering through the store mask less. No one stopped them or even said anything. The rule follower that I am wanted to awkwardly talk really loud in front of them and say something like "Wow! I think it's so great that masks are REQUIRED wherever you go now. It definitely makes everything so much safer." But unfortunately I did not. 

I am not here to tell you what to do. No in fact I'm just here to tell you that mask wearing saves lives. And since my little girl E can't wear a mask, she is at high risk for contracting the virus from those dummies in Target who despite the announcements throughout the store saying "if you prefer not to wear a face covering, please try one of our contactless options!" still refuse to put a piece of cloth over their nose and mouth. 

It is seriously frustrating to me sometimes. 

But then I remember that everyone has agency and some people decide that they don't want to limit themselves by wearing a mask -- despite the fact that it is anything but limiting. 

I have to remind myself that this is just the conditions of our mortality, people using their agency to affect those around them. 

It is saddening but it is reality. 

…

I sometimes wonder what Heavenly Father thinks about people using their agency to affect and disrupt so many other's lives. 

I know that He gave us the ability to chose so that we could make mistakes and try again. 
But I can't help but wonder if he too is sad when one of His precious children uses their agency to manipulate, hurt, anger, or discriminate against another of His children. 

I know that is not what He intended the gift of agency to amount to, but I know He understands that this is just a condition of mortality. 

A Moment with Christ picture 

To have to deal with the bad decisions of others. 

To have to press forward despite leaders and other individuals making choices that affect us. 

To have to forgive those individuals despite their choices. 

I think in all reality this is helping us learn to be more like Him. 

To help us eventually return to be with Him. 

Because that's what He would do. 

...

We talked about forgiveness last night for FHE (Family Home Evening) with E. 

E reading the Costco ads

Our FHE's at this stage of life are simply singing a primary song, telling a brief point of doctrine and then closing with a prayer. 

E loves when we sing and even dances along! 

Last night we sang I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus 

and I loved these lines as we sang: 

I'm trying to love my neighbor

I'm learning to serve my friends

I watch for the day of gladness when Jesus will come again. 

I try to remember the lessons He taught. 

Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts saying: 

Love one another as Jesus loves you

Try to show kindness in all that you do

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought 

for these are the things Jesus taught. 

…

I am trying to love those around me despite their imperfections and choices that affect the world. 

I know that I am not perfect, but I know that as President Russell M. Nelson taught, "The Lord loves effort". 

And for that I will try a little harder to love my neighbor just a little bit more. 

xoxo, M