E's Birth Story Part 3
E's Birth Story Part 3
Go Back and read Part 1 and 2 if you haven't!
WARNING: Might be graphically detailed and a little long
With the epidural in place I felt on top of the world... that was until the initial dose wore off.
They told me once I could start feeling contractions again that I just needed to push a button and I would receive more pain medicine.
I think I pressed that button 10-15 times. My legs became un-numb and I could feel everything.
I asked my nurse if that was normal and she responded with "Oh ya, you're supposed to be able to feel your legs".
It still felt odd and unnormal but I persevered.
A couple of minutes later the nurse came back in and told me that she needed to readjust the heartrate monitor on the baby because it looked like baby must have just moved.
She had me roll to one side and then another and still wasn't happy with my placement. She propped about 4 pillows under my back and then said she would be watching the monitor from her position out of the room.
15 minutes later she was back.
"Let's try the opposite way" she said as she rolled me to the other side and put the pillows under that way.
She looked at my numbers and all the monitors that I was hooked up to and said, "Okay baby's heartrate is not as strong as we want it to be. No big deal, it'll be fine."
I didn't feel like it was no big deal. Especially since she had moved me back and forth about 4 times already and nothing improved.
I remembered Dr. P saying that the magnesium helped my blood pressure but could have adverse affects on E's blood pressure as well.
I was stressed. I couldn't keep changing positions every 15 minutes for who knows how long.
The nurse came back in and checked to see how dilated I was.
The nurse before her had said that I was pretty much a 1 and I was holding onto that hope that the following numbers would come quicker.
She checked me and said, "I can't even call you a 1... you're effaced but definitely not a 1."
Blood rose to my face and I was embarrassed at my body.
This nurse made me feel as though it was almost laughable that I hadn't made any progress in 25 hours.
She said she would be back in at 10:00 to check me.
I was over it. I knew that it wasn't normal to have my nurse so concerned about baby E's heartrate and not tell me that "Oh this happens all the time".
I looked over at C and said, "I don't think it's smart to wait until I dilate. I think I just need to have a C-Section at this point because I don't want something to happen to E".
He nodded in agreement and we both decided to page my Dr. to let him know.
....
It's now 9:20, Dr. P comes waltzing in and states in a question-like tone "You wanted to see me?"
I nod and say, "I don't feel good about waiting for my body to dilate. I'm concerned about my baby's heartrate consistently dropping and no one really telling me what is happening."
Okay that's how I would've liked it to go but in reality I got emotional, and a little (lot) pissy, and basically told him that I was tired of this "sh**" and was done and just wanted a C-Section.
Don't mess with me after little sleep, medication that burns your whole body, and a baby who's life could be in danger.
I was fed up.
I think I honestly surprised my doctor.
As I sat with the words I had emotionally thrown at him, he looked me in the eyes and said "Let me tell you, it's okay to be done. It's your body and you get to decide when you want to push on or not. Now for a C-Section, it's completely possible to have one but there are risks (which he explained) and it would have to be something that you would really want to do. I'll let you discuss with your husband and then we can make a decision".
He then left the room and I looked at C and said, "I don't want to discuss it, I just know I need to do it." C is such a great husband and just said, "I agree, it's been too long and I think this is the best option as well".
Probably the fastest decision I have ever made.
Next thing we knew, paperwork was being signed, medication was quickly being sent through the IV, and the nurse was realizing that the epidural was not on. (*facepalm emoji*)
The anesthesiologist forgot to turn on the epidural button so I was in fact no numb.
They upped my doses and figured that it would be enough as I headed into the C-Section room.
...
Things were chaotic as I slipped a hair net onto my head (without putting it up first -- man was that hard).
Dr. P and another doctor with the help of a couple of nurses lifted me onto the operating table.
They shaved and prepped the soon to be incision site as I had my arms placed on metal boards.
I lay there praying that everything would work out.
Drapes were thrown up and the next thing I knew, C was by my head donned in full PPE and a hair net.
His cheeks moved under his mask as he said "Are you excited!?"
I nodded and gulped. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me!
I was going to be meeting my baby so early.
Then the incisions started, C talked to me as I heard Dr. P talk with the other doctor regarding his work and how he had been getting along.
The anesthesiologist stood on the opposite side of my head near the IV bag and my blood pressure and heart rate monitor.
All of a sudden the dull pressure turned into sharp pain as I began to feel the sharp blade of the knife.
I grimaced. (SIDE NOTE: I have an abnormally high pain tolerance so this next couple of sentences is no shock as I really could normally block out pain -- in all situations)
C noticed and asked if I was alright.
I nodded and told myself that the pain would pass.
The sharp pain came back.
Again I grimaced and clenched my teeth.
This pain was not going to last forever I told myself.
The sharp pain got more intense.
I looked at C and said softly, "I can feel that"
He said "what?" as he couldn't understand what I was saying.
I just shook my head. Hoping to push the pain out of my head, I tried to picture who E would look like, what color (if any) of hair she would have, how it would feel to hold her for the first time (etc).
But then that sharp pain came back and I felt my body try to squirm away from it.
The anesthesiologist said to me, "Felt that one did ya?"
I nodded and said "Yes it seems to be kind of sharp" (again totally trying to downplay it)
He said, "No worries, I'll just increase your epidural a tad."
That worked for about two seconds until they started getting deeper into my abdomen.
I grimaced again and looked up at the anesthesiologist and said, "Can you give me some more because I can feel everything."
Not sure if he saw the look on my face or if my heartrate increased and the vitals began to worry him because the next thing I knew, the anesthesiologist was grabbing vials of different medicines and sending them through my IV.
He said, "No worries, this will definitely help".
And then I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I tried so hard to keep my eyes open so that I wouldn't miss my baby girl coming into the world but it felt as though I was falling into a soft pillowy bed.
My ears rang and I began to picture scenes from the movie Emma that had just been released that I had seen the Tuesday previous with my English class.
I felt as though I was having a seriously insane dream.
I remember telling myself, that I was going to have to tell C about the dream where I was having a C-section.
It just didn't feel real.
And then all of a sudden I felt myself surface the crazy Emma dream and heard, "She's here!" followed by C saying, "Marin she has dark curly hair!"
I remember thinking to myself, "Who does?" "Who are we talking about?"
And then C left my side, to go be with E (which I didn't know of course).
And then intense pain came back as the doctor's worked to deliver my placenta.
I grimaced again and more Emma inducing dreams came my way.
Finally, I could hear my name being called as I swam against the current of this dreamlike state.
They asked if I wanted to hold the baby, "who's baby?" "I had a baby?" "Oh no I can't see very well and I think my arms are broken." I thought to myself.
I opened my eyes and saw C and a lady looking at me, the lady asked, "Marin we have your baby here, do you want to hold her?"
I said, "It's okay I can't see very well."
The expectant eyes starred down at me, not sure what to make of this weird statement from me.
Finally the nurse said, I'll hold her right next to your face so you can see her."
Then C crouched down as I struggled to look clearly at E, as my eyes focused I saw her tiny head and beautiful face next to me and I said, "oh hi baby!" and kissed her cheek.
She cried and then I cried.
C asked for a picture and as I tried to keep my eyes open, this lovely shot was taken.
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