Time passes
hello! long time no blog post!
Sorry about that everyone... life has been crazy over here and I have also struggled with what I wanted to write about.
I am so amazed by the kindness and support so many of you have shown me as I begin this blogging journey. It sometimes is a bit overwhelming to hear that one of you are reading my blog.... not because I do not want you too but because I worry that what I write is not good enough or that you are reading this and thinking that my life is perfect and that I am a bit naive in what I am saying...
anyways... just know I am grateful and appreciative of you all for reading.
Writers block is real.
I have tried to avoid this platform as my thoughts often escape my brain before I even have time to write anything down. I have been thinking a lot about the past 9 months and reflecting on how far I have come in such a short period of time.
9 months ago my grandpa passed away. His life was not one of great accolades but it was one full of dedicated service to the Lord and His Church. I had not always been privileged to spend a lot of quality time with him, as of significant distance. However, in the final month of his life, I was able to visit him in the hospital with my sister S and read and ponder scriptures together. During this time I did not realize that it would be some of the last moments I would spend with him, but they were some of the most spiritual and influential in my life.
My grandpa lost his arm at age 9 due to a work accident. He then lived for 40+ years without his eyesight. However, he never let this stop him from continuing to dream and design houses. It did not stop him from loving his family and most importantly it did not stop him from loving God. He of all people could have easily complained about the load in which he was asked to carry but instead he always showed his faith in saying that his eyesight would return one day. I remember when he was in the hospital, I went and visited him with my sister. While my sister was out of the room, I began reading my favorite scripture with him, Mosiah 24:14-15. After reading it with him, we had a really good discussion about trials and then about his favorite scripture. It was really a sweet moment.
What was really interesting was that during this visit with my grandpa I had not begun dating C. I hadn't even reconnected with him at all. However, my grandpa asked me multiple times about the boys I had been dating. I kind of laughed and told him, well grandpa there are none, but he was insistent, he continued to bring it up until I promised that we (this boy and I) would be married in the temple. I laughed and he finally seemed content with my answer. Well 3 weeks later I began dating C and my grandpa took a turn for the worst. His health soon began to decline even more rapidly and C suggested that we go and give him a blessing. At the beginning of November, we all (C, my sister S, and me) went to see my grandpa who was beginning to leave his earthly ties. It was a really emotional time for me and I remember being really sad about saying goodbye to him, and kept thinking that he would be around longer. However, 3 days later, my dear Grandpa passed away at age 89.
The next day was my birthday. C and I went to the mall and shopped around for a bit. I was still a little sullen and felt sad about my grandpa's passing but had a good time with C. My mom ended up calling right as we were leaving the mall. She told me that her and my aunt were planning the funeral and were in need of two extra men to help carry the casket. Unfortunately in my family there were not enough men to do the job but that as they were thinking about who could do it, they had C's name and my cousin's boyfriend's name come into their minds. So just like that C became a pallbearer at my grandpa's funeral. It was a really tender experience as I was brought back to the day that my grandpa pressed me about that "boy" and I getting married in the temple. And somehow it just all made sense. C was that boy and it was my grandpa showing approval for him as he inspired my mom to ask C to be a pallbearer.
My grandpa did not get to be at our wedding 6 months later and for a while it always kind of bothered me. I remember crying so immensely the day I found out that he passed away that I did not want to do anything. I was so sad that someone who had meant so much to me would not physically be at a moment so important to me, but I know he was there in spirit. And I know that even though our family members who we lose may feel far away, they really are closer to us than we think. I am so grateful for the knowledge that one day I will get to run and hug my grandpa again, but this time he will be able to see. And I am so grateful that families truly can be together forever.
But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ. (Mosiah 16:8)
xoxo,
Marin
Sorry about that everyone... life has been crazy over here and I have also struggled with what I wanted to write about.
I am so amazed by the kindness and support so many of you have shown me as I begin this blogging journey. It sometimes is a bit overwhelming to hear that one of you are reading my blog.... not because I do not want you too but because I worry that what I write is not good enough or that you are reading this and thinking that my life is perfect and that I am a bit naive in what I am saying...
anyways... just know I am grateful and appreciative of you all for reading.
Writers block is real.
I have tried to avoid this platform as my thoughts often escape my brain before I even have time to write anything down. I have been thinking a lot about the past 9 months and reflecting on how far I have come in such a short period of time.
9 months ago my grandpa passed away. His life was not one of great accolades but it was one full of dedicated service to the Lord and His Church. I had not always been privileged to spend a lot of quality time with him, as of significant distance. However, in the final month of his life, I was able to visit him in the hospital with my sister S and read and ponder scriptures together. During this time I did not realize that it would be some of the last moments I would spend with him, but they were some of the most spiritual and influential in my life.
My grandpa lost his arm at age 9 due to a work accident. He then lived for 40+ years without his eyesight. However, he never let this stop him from continuing to dream and design houses. It did not stop him from loving his family and most importantly it did not stop him from loving God. He of all people could have easily complained about the load in which he was asked to carry but instead he always showed his faith in saying that his eyesight would return one day. I remember when he was in the hospital, I went and visited him with my sister. While my sister was out of the room, I began reading my favorite scripture with him, Mosiah 24:14-15. After reading it with him, we had a really good discussion about trials and then about his favorite scripture. It was really a sweet moment.
My grandpa at age 20
What was really interesting was that during this visit with my grandpa I had not begun dating C. I hadn't even reconnected with him at all. However, my grandpa asked me multiple times about the boys I had been dating. I kind of laughed and told him, well grandpa there are none, but he was insistent, he continued to bring it up until I promised that we (this boy and I) would be married in the temple. I laughed and he finally seemed content with my answer. Well 3 weeks later I began dating C and my grandpa took a turn for the worst. His health soon began to decline even more rapidly and C suggested that we go and give him a blessing. At the beginning of November, we all (C, my sister S, and me) went to see my grandpa who was beginning to leave his earthly ties. It was a really emotional time for me and I remember being really sad about saying goodbye to him, and kept thinking that he would be around longer. However, 3 days later, my dear Grandpa passed away at age 89.
my Grandpa doing his favorite pastime, water skiing
The next day was my birthday. C and I went to the mall and shopped around for a bit. I was still a little sullen and felt sad about my grandpa's passing but had a good time with C. My mom ended up calling right as we were leaving the mall. She told me that her and my aunt were planning the funeral and were in need of two extra men to help carry the casket. Unfortunately in my family there were not enough men to do the job but that as they were thinking about who could do it, they had C's name and my cousin's boyfriend's name come into their minds. So just like that C became a pallbearer at my grandpa's funeral. It was a really tender experience as I was brought back to the day that my grandpa pressed me about that "boy" and I getting married in the temple. And somehow it just all made sense. C was that boy and it was my grandpa showing approval for him as he inspired my mom to ask C to be a pallbearer.
My grandpa did not get to be at our wedding 6 months later and for a while it always kind of bothered me. I remember crying so immensely the day I found out that he passed away that I did not want to do anything. I was so sad that someone who had meant so much to me would not physically be at a moment so important to me, but I know he was there in spirit. And I know that even though our family members who we lose may feel far away, they really are closer to us than we think. I am so grateful for the knowledge that one day I will get to run and hug my grandpa again, but this time he will be able to see. And I am so grateful that families truly can be together forever.
a little video of our time with Grandpa back in 2017
But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ. (Mosiah 16:8)
xoxo,
Marin
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