E's Birth Story Part 2

 E's Birth Story Part 2

Go back and read Part 1 if you haven't read it yet!

Last Bump Picture I took 

Walking into the doctor's appointment, I did not anticipate being induced. 

I don't really know what exactly I anticipated to be honest. 

Maybe I anticipated more medicine or strict bed rest. 

All I know is that I did not anticipate the word's Dr. P would say, "your baby's coming today".

Panic, fear, stress, worry all flooded over me at that moment. 

No one tells you how it feels to know that your baby is coming early. 

I literally was at first so relieved because I felt that I couldn't get more uncomfortable. But then immediately after that relief, I began to feel panic. 

What if I don't know how to be a mom?

What if I don't feel bonded to her?

What if something went wrong?

All these irrational fears began to trickle into my mind and in nowise helped my blood pressure situation.

...

Dr. P told me that I should grab anything I needed and head for the hospital and that he would meet us there.

For some reason, I felt the need to drive so C and I got in the car and started to head to the hospital. C told me that we needed to call my mom and dad and tell them the update as he had been texting them regarding my high blood pressure. 

We called them and told them the news and my mom was about as shocked as I was to hear that E would be coming so soon. 

A view of my extremely pregnant feet about a week before I had E -- definitely not normal 

Due to COVID, she had run to the store to stock up on fresh produce herself and jokingly said, "E! You're not supposed to be coming so early! I have produce we need to eat!" 

We all laughed and she said, "Well keep us posted and let us know if we need to get in our cars earlier than tomorrow."

We hung up with her and called C's parents B and L who told us they would be praying for us and wanted updates as they came. 

I remember crying and thinking that I was definitely not ready to push a baby out. 

I hadn't gone to any birthing classes, I didn't even have my hospital bag in my car (not sure why we didn't run home and grab it), and I definitely was not ready to brave COVID-19 with my brand new girl. 

...

We got into the hospital and they put me in triage and began to monitor my blood pressure, took my blood, and watched E's heart rate and my contractions. 

The nurse laughed as she tried to find a good vein and said, "Man, I am not jealous of whoever has to put your IV in tonight. You are so swollen!" (that definitely did not help my nerves)

We sat in this room for about 45 minutes. 

Finally the nurse came in with Dr. P and Dr. P sat down next to me and said, "Are you ready to have this baby?" 

Peep my extremely swollen feet that didn't even fit in Tevas

I gulped and nodded saying, "As ready as I'll ever be". 

He then explained that they were going to start me on Cytotec because my cervix was still hard and then slowly start me on Pitocin after that. Because of my high blood pressure, they would also be starting me on Magnesium to make sure I wouldn't stroke out. 

He then got very somber and told me, "This Magnesium is going to be the worst. It's going to make you drowsy and it's going to make her even more drowsy. Now because she's going to be so early we are going to have to do two doses of Surfactin which will help her lungs finish developing before she is born. Sometimes this doesn't always work and sometimes babies don't even need that. Just remember that whatever happens we are going to be watching out for you and her." 

Talk about about a pep talk to make your palms sweat even more. 

...

I was stressed. 

What if the Surfactin didn't work?

What if my blood pressure didn't respond to the magnesium and I stroked out and died!

What if all of these extensive measures affected E so much? 

Basically any what if questions you could possibly think of came into my head and caused me to feel a little anxious. 

...

They lead me into a Labor and Delivery room where I would be spending the next however long it took to have E. 

They gave me a gown and got me all set up on the monitors and told me that the nurse would be coming in to put in my IV and administer the Cytotec and the other medications. 

My nurse came in with a BYU nursing student to put in my IV. The nurse asked if it would be okay to have the nursing student try to put in my IV. Being young and knowing that this would probably be helpful to the nursing student I said sure. However, because I was so swollen it took them 6 tries in total -- with the nursing student trying twice, the other nice trying twice, and then another nurse trying two more times before she was successful. 

I sent this to my BFF H after I had been laying in my hospital bed for about an hour.

I was in pain and the abundant medications they were pumping me full of did not seem to lessen the pain and in fact just increased it. 

...

They left me and C alone as the Magnesium burned through my veins making it feel as though the chilly hospital room was a scorching 110 degree day. 

C shivered in the corner while I burned on the hospital bed. 

Only to have nurses come in every 2 hours to check my vitals and administer more drugs. 

It was torture.

No one told me that an induction would cause me so much pain and anguish. 

I literally hated everything. 

I not only was afraid for E but I was sick and tired of feeling as though my whole body was on fire. 

And then to make matters worse, they kept coming in every 3 hours to see how dilated I was. 

Those checks were probably the worst thing I have ever experienced. 

Horrible pain and pressure as they felt my cervix to see how dilated I was. 

I would get excited hoping that I had magically dilated only to be dropped flat on my face by their response of "you aren't even a 1 yet." 

I was so tired and deflated that I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this. 

After 20 hours, of laying there not dilating, not progressing, I decided to get an epidural. 

My mom had success in her inductions once she had an epidural and I hoped the same would be for me. 

They had me sit on the edge of the bed grasping a pillow while a nurse held my shoulders to steady me. 

C had to sit on a couch facing me so that he wouldn't pass out. 

I could feel my anxiety rise as the Anesthesiologist felt my spine determining the best spot to place the epidural. 

The nurse remarked that my blood pressure was rising and was trying to calm me down. 

Finally, after ten minutes of talking and choosing a spot, the epidural was in place and I was allowed to lay and relax. 

...

Little did I know that this was not the last time I would be seeing the anesthesiologist. 

Our world was about to change. 

Part 3 coming soon! 

xoxo, M